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Winne Phua Huini's
it's a small world after all.
Nothing you need to know.Me Myself & I. DON'T come visiting this blog if you ain't happy w me. Unless you just wanna stalk, welcome. DO try not to make too much noise here, I can't stand it. Thanks much ;D |
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June 8, 2011 @ 3:01 AM
Fall, Falling, Fell. Moments ago when I'm showering, I've got a sudden urge to post some random thots of mine agn. Lols. I decided to open my fb wall agn cos Eileen.L refer me to a secret cyber space for me to rant my craps. In many ppl's eyes, I'm a talkative, cheerful, immature, senseless, brainless, crap girl. Cos I've always portray this image so well, tat I'm alrdy at master lvl. But, naas. Tats wad I want ppl to think. Cos I'm afraid of ppl knowing the true side of me.. Only when night falls, I becme myself, hiding in my room, doing nth, but starring at the space blankly, thinking of random thots. Although it's true tat I'll die if I don't talk for a day, but.. Even I myself knows tat I only talk how I really feel to certain ppl only. When I'm seriously in a freaking bad mood, tats when my machine gun starts. & up till now, only less than 3 ppl can hear me out patiently when I'm ranting. Lovee is the master of patience. He nvr fails to listen & asking appropriate qtns to let me knw tat he's still listening to me. Most importantly, he will always say those simple, yet encouraging words to boost my confidence lvl. All I want is so simple, just a listening ears & some encouraging words, not lecturing me saying tat I'm repeating things, & how immature I am. After a slp, poof! I'm back to normal agn, isn't it? Out of 10 ppl I knw, 8 of them have a perfect family. Me? All along I only have my mum to support on when I'm dwn, really really dwn. When I'm at my primary age, I'm alrdy helping out at my mum's shop, handling irritating customers, learning how to deal sales, computer programme & etc. I'm so certain tat I'm not tat immature ppl have to keep stamping this unreasonable label on me. When you ppl out ther have family day, eating meals tgt w your family, I'm stuck at the shop, having my meals alone. Wads the feeling of loneliness, wads the definition of independence, I believe I knw tat way before many of you. Not to mention my childhood days, I've no frens, simply nobody. Becos I always keeps quiet, & stay away frm ppl. I dunno wads trust back den. Bur after I'm in my secondary days, I learnt wads cliques, wads the meaning of frens & definitely wads love. But, all these broke my heart so many times, making me feel so numb now. Now, I finally knw wads the meaning of departure, how to let things & ppl go when you're clinching it so tightly tat it hurts yourself.. Cos sometimes, loneliness & independent help you to save your heart frm breaking. & since WinnePhua started her yr 2011, nth goes smoothly. I'd moved hse for twice, back & fro, tat I decided to moved out when I'm capable of. Wadever it's, somethings can't be mention in the cyber world, cos words spread too fast. I still prefer to rant to my closed ones. Everyt comes & goes. Photos bring back memories, but not feelings. Labels: Strangers are better at times June 2, 2011 @ 8:50 PM
Flames to Dust. Oh well, crazy WinnePhua decided to use her twitter acc after 2 yrs & randomly deleted her acc after using it for less than a month -.- Lame right? LOLS. & I've also blocked my FB wall just like Eva.L becos both of us need some private space to rant our random thots at crazy times. Well, last week had been doing a lot of random things, suddenly ringing up Eva.L & Eileen.L to play MJ, went to Anchorvale ther to swim (well, in my case is playing water -.-) & I planned to asked them go zoo some random days. LOLS! I'm seriously not in my mind recently. Had been craving to do some stuffs tat I don't get to do ever since I went to poly. Super random :/ Well, during the weekends, Lovee is even more random cos he suddenly said let's go watch movie during the noon time. So, we caught 2 shows, Pirates & Kingfu Panda 2. Had been ages ever since we go on dating like this. But still, I prefer to rot at his hse :X Also, I want to go for a short escape. *Hmms* Planning to go overseas during my bday & Lovee's. Thinking whether should I ask Eva.L & Eileen.L, cos they both also want to go overseas. Oh well, still long, I can slowly plan :D & lastly, I'm moving back to Hougang Green. Atleast, I don't need ppl to open the door for me, ther's internet ther, I can watch shows tat I want & most importantly, nobody's gonna disturb me. Blahs, ther may be many disadvantages, but, I shall heck care, heck care & heck care :]          
May 9, 2011 @ 9:55 AM
Rantings. Oh well, had a nice looonnggg chat w Lovee ytd. Complained, nagged, rant-ed everyt to him. I realize Before he ORD, my time for him compared to others is 40/60. Which means I only acc him during the phone talks every weekdays nights & weekends. But now, it's 95/5, excluding my sch time, just my personal time. I knw it's a big portion, one may say tat I shouldn't put love in my life so importantly. But.. I just can't stop it. I'd rather 24/7 stay at his hse, playing games, watching random movies/cartoons, playing mj & etc. I just hate to get my butt of my confort zone.. & I knw I'd been lacking in my social life, I've been out hanging w my cliques like ages.. I'm just lazy, I knw I shouldn't be.. *Sigh* I'm just getting more & more self-centered, rather choose to close in & not open out.. Guess, family issues caused me to be this freak I am now... During the talk ytd w Lovee, I qtn-ed myself randomly, why do I depend on him so much? Why can I do the same things (gaming & etc) w him everyd, not dating at some shopping centres.. Is it becos of habit? I believed tat anyone will think tat I don't love him anym if I think tat everyt is habit. But, it's becos of me, loving him, tat's why everyt becme habit. For an example, if you don't love to do this thing, you will nvr allow it to becme a habit right? I'm happy, loved, becos our daily lives becme a habit, this is a prove tat we love each other, & not sick & tired of it. Enough of all the craps I'm ranting now. Ther's alot of things tat can't be mention here & seriously, words can't describe how I'm actually feeling. Just.. I guess, I've to pour out all my rantings to my rubbish bin now :D April 21, 2011 @ 9:39 PM
Private Emotions. It's been super freaking long ever since I touched this personal space of mine.. Well, lappy is resting at Lovee's hse everyd as I'd moved back to Granny's place & ther isn't any internet connections ther. Life's hectic, chaos & damn right in a mess now. My active time is at night, while I slp like a log in the day -.- *Hais* Kinda hope God will stop playing prank w me.. Give me a break for a few yrs pls...? Am currently at Lovee's place doing a quick update. Don't really knw wth am I supposed to post uhs.. *Sigh* TEP started for me, how I hope it will nvr end man.. I'd rather work than study :( & ytd met quite a no. of ppl to play pool at Hougang Plaza ;] Mavis, Jal, Des, Nigell, WenHao, FS & ShunJie. Seriously, I miss HS :( & thanks to my stupid schedule in sch, I rarely get to meet my usual cliques plus my Dearest K is chiong-ing work now.. How I hope we can go out for one day, do all those crazy stuffs to relax, ignoring our burdens :((((( Last but not least, Mr W.JianHao! It's been nearly/more than 4 mnths ever since we went out >:( Lols.. I guess, we 2 are too lazy to travel to somewher so far & had to spend a day w soooooo many strangers ><                                               
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