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Winne Phua Huini's
it's a small world after all.
Nothing you need to know.Me Myself & I. DON'T come visiting this blog if you ain't happy w me. Unless you just wanna stalk, welcome. DO try not to make too much noise here, I can't stand it. Thanks much ;D |
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June 8, 2011 @ 3:01 AM
Fall, Falling, Fell. Moments ago when I'm showering, I've got a sudden urge to post some random thots of mine agn. Lols. I decided to open my fb wall agn cos Eileen.L refer me to a secret cyber space for me to rant my craps. In many ppl's eyes, I'm a talkative, cheerful, immature, senseless, brainless, crap girl. Cos I've always portray this image so well, tat I'm alrdy at master lvl. But, naas. Tats wad I want ppl to think. Cos I'm afraid of ppl knowing the true side of me.. Only when night falls, I becme myself, hiding in my room, doing nth, but starring at the space blankly, thinking of random thots. Although it's true tat I'll die if I don't talk for a day, but.. Even I myself knows tat I only talk how I really feel to certain ppl only. When I'm seriously in a freaking bad mood, tats when my machine gun starts. & up till now, only less than 3 ppl can hear me out patiently when I'm ranting. Lovee is the master of patience. He nvr fails to listen & asking appropriate qtns to let me knw tat he's still listening to me. Most importantly, he will always say those simple, yet encouraging words to boost my confidence lvl. All I want is so simple, just a listening ears & some encouraging words, not lecturing me saying tat I'm repeating things, & how immature I am. After a slp, poof! I'm back to normal agn, isn't it? Out of 10 ppl I knw, 8 of them have a perfect family. Me? All along I only have my mum to support on when I'm dwn, really really dwn. When I'm at my primary age, I'm alrdy helping out at my mum's shop, handling irritating customers, learning how to deal sales, computer programme & etc. I'm so certain tat I'm not tat immature ppl have to keep stamping this unreasonable label on me. When you ppl out ther have family day, eating meals tgt w your family, I'm stuck at the shop, having my meals alone. Wads the feeling of loneliness, wads the definition of independence, I believe I knw tat way before many of you. Not to mention my childhood days, I've no frens, simply nobody. Becos I always keeps quiet, & stay away frm ppl. I dunno wads trust back den. Bur after I'm in my secondary days, I learnt wads cliques, wads the meaning of frens & definitely wads love. But, all these broke my heart so many times, making me feel so numb now. Now, I finally knw wads the meaning of departure, how to let things & ppl go when you're clinching it so tightly tat it hurts yourself.. Cos sometimes, loneliness & independent help you to save your heart frm breaking. & since WinnePhua started her yr 2011, nth goes smoothly. I'd moved hse for twice, back & fro, tat I decided to moved out when I'm capable of. Wadever it's, somethings can't be mention in the cyber world, cos words spread too fast. I still prefer to rant to my closed ones. Everyt comes & goes. Photos bring back memories, but not feelings. Labels: Strangers are better at times |